Dealing with a broken heart is usually on my mind in May. May is the month of Mother's Day-and that is always a sad time for me. That is due to the fact that my husband and I lost our only child in an auto accident in 1999. Most of you who read this blog know that.
Since the fall of the human race as recorded in Genesis Chpt. 3 and the curse that the entire creation has been put under-life-for most humans has been full of hardship and heartbreak. Some of our sorrow is due to our own foolishness and sinfulness. I am not talking about that today. I just want to share with you today how God heals the wounded and broken hearts of those who love him and belong to him. I can speak from experience about this subject-because I am one of those people. If you are a believer in Christ-you will suffer loss. You will experience pain-you will be afflicted.
I can remember those early days after the death of my son-it was so unexpected-so sudden. My husband has medical issues and is disabled. My son was such a help to me with his father-and the two were best friends. We saw him everyday-the three of us would take a daily walk with our dogs. I remember my pleas to God-I wanted to know WHY? It made no sense to me at all. I needed my son-I had had enough loss in my 50 years. In the depths of this dark despair-as I cried out to the Lord day and night with my broken heart-I was given a treasure. The treasure was mine all the time-but the Lord had to show it to me clearly because in that dark place-I could not see. I began to read and mediate on and memorize Psalm 91. This is a wonderful place to stay for awhile if you are in the midst of suffering. I remember praying that psalm to God daily-a sentence here-a verse there. I remember the comfort the nearness of God himself brought to me. Ps 91:1 He who dwells in the secret place of the most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the LORD, He is my refuge and my fortress; my God, in Him will I trust.
Iam so fond of my times with Job-though few of us have ever suffered like he did-I feel he is a kindred spirit for sure. I can still remember Job's anguished cry the first time I read it and really understood what he was feeling in his heart. Job 23:1-7 Then Job answered and said:
2 "Today also my complaint is bitter;
my hand is heavy on account of my groaning.
3 Oh, that I knew where I might find him,
that I might come even to his seat!
4 I would lay my case before him
and fill my mouth with arguments.
5 I would know what he would answer me
and understand what he would say to me.
6 Would he contend with me in the greatness of his power?
No; he would pay attention to me.
7 There an upright man could argue with him,
and I would be acquitted forever by my judge.
Job had lots of questions for the Lord-and he longed for a chance to contend with the Almighty about his suffering. He wanted an audience with God-he wanted to remind the Lord what a righteous man he was-he longed to be acquitted of the accusations against him -by his so called friends. He wanted an answer to his WHYS!
Then when we get to chapter 38- God finally shows up.I am putting a tiny portion of that passage here-I ask you to read Job chapters 38-42-these are some of the greatest chapters in the entire Bible when we have unanswered questions for God. Job 38:1-4
1 Then the Lord answered Job out of the whirlwind and said:
2 "Who is this that darkens counsel by words without knowledge?
3 Dress for action like a man;
I will question you, and you make it known to me.
4 "Where were you when I laid the foundation of the earth?
Tell me, if you have understanding.
It saysin verse one that God answered Job-but God's answer to Job is a series of questions that bring Job to his knees in worship-as we see in chapter 42. Job 42:1-6
Then Job answered the Lord and said:
2 "I know that you can do all things,
and that no purpose of yours can be thwarted.
3 'Who is this that hides counsel without knowledge?'
Therefore I have uttered what I did not understand,
things too wonderful for me, which I did not know.
4 'Hear, and I will speak;
I will question you, and you make it known to me.'
5 I had heard of you by the hearing of the ear,
but now my eye sees you;
6 therefore I despise myself,
and repent in dust and ashes."
You will notice through the entire discourse with Job that God never answers the question of WHY-which we think we must have. The way that God mends broken hearts is not by answering why-but by answering WHO?
I can't tell you how life changing it has been to me to understand that the more I know God-Who He is and what He is like-the less need I have to know why. Please do not misunderstand-the pain of these losses will never be entirely erased in this life (a mended heart is always scarred)-the choice that has to be made in the time when the pain threatens to undo us is to focus on God. Who he is-What he has done for you and me through the cross of Christ-the promises he has made to us that are fast and sure.
If you are a Christian-you will suffer loss of one kind or another on a regular basis. Make your life a mission to study God-because knowing God is the only thing that makes any sense of suffering.
To put it another way-God mends a broken heart by the revelation of Himself: this my soul knows very well.